Life's Surprises are so Predictable

I don't know why i have to place this defective battery in between me and my keyboard...
...never an inspiration, but it does share a little bit of its charge.

I try to walk along with the traffic, unmindful of my pace i let the other vehicles pass me by. for almost a year now i feel like i am plateauing in life. i can't seem to push myself up anymore, just cruising. i am not worried, and that worries me.

...after a few minutes

God answered

ward sippings

ironic, there ain't no coffee to sip.
Its my first night here since i arrived early this morning. I wonder why after that 8-hour trip dozing along the way am still feeling out of sleep.
Right now am in a clinic ward watching over my dad with a terrible infection to his leg, i don't think i will be sleeping well. Where's that coffee when i badly need one!
Talk about undeserved suffering, there's nothing we can do about it. That 8-hour trip was all about acknowledging God and His supremacy, though not in a charismatic way. Everything that happens in this world are part of the process of His will being executed. We do have control over choosing from our options but the outcome has always a degree of risk, and uncertainty. Even a fraction of a degree can totally turn things oqposite to what we hope for.

Page One

right now i am reminded of my page one, that moment that gave me the inspiration to write things about my subliminal life.

it just rained and the leaves from the trees stick to me like some sand grain onto a magnet. i don't feel any fairness right now. no sun, gloomy afternoon, wet pavement, and dirty soles.

i thought that when you are at the bottom of things it will be all uphill from there, i was wrong.
for there is hell, much lower than anyone can imagine. i am not there yet but what i see and feel right now is nothing close to a speckle of heaven. ironically i never knew heaven, i just wished for it several times, several times i was turned down. God save my soul for i scavenge for whatever that can i think of resembling the one thing i wish for, maybe i found it, several times, but then again i was scavenging on the lot that is forsaken.

if i feel small now it is not because all the eyes are looking down on me, but because not one eye glances at me for i am too small to be noticed, too small, that after the rain has wet the pave i just stick to your soles like some blade of grass.

lately i have noticed that i am sluggish...
...in a way, i resist that urge to work...
...urgent proposals...i can´t seem to rush myself, or rush blood to my head...
...am i tired? am i frustrated? can't i see any promising light to my on-going endeavor?
...nice picture by the way...
...the tomb...

someday...

a glance by the side

when you pray, you don't ask, you just say, answers to prayers are random and most probably coincidental.
looking for happiness is like looking for a job, the best ones are hard to get, the easier less gracious ones are readily available. when you are jobless you are not happy.
a human being is as limited as the air and the trees and the dew.
there is nothing to believe in if we are doubted upon.
our life means nothing, just that.