the mess

tired and almost falling, i begin to doubt my hope.
where is that beacon i have been hoping to see?
could it be that i am living a bright life with just a light in mind and not in sight.
i refuse to see myself as a utility yet it is the nearest that i can be.
if i am to journey on a stony dirt road all along, i should not have opted for legs.
like that from a song 'how many times can i break til i shatter...'