trix

i just found out that there is such a thing as 'gay day'. its that day when its hot and the masculine side of a male is vaporizing faster than usual.

Sylvannas

Ingredients:

8 eggwhites
1 1/2 cups white sugar
1 cup crushed cashew nuts
ladyfingers
1 pound butter
cream of tartar

Directions:

Beat eggwhites until stiff. Add sugar a little at a time until smooth. Add 1 tsp of cream of tartar. Add cashew nuts.

Press on cookie sheet using a pastry bag about 1 inch wide by 2 inches long. Bake at 375 degrees until light brown.

Cool. Roll in softened butter and crushed lady fingers.

a few bottles of lost past

Three bottles each, that's the original plan of chow and me. We needed to catch up somehow with our fast paced lives (as of publishing of this journal it's still under debate whether i qualify for that 'fast paced' term). Along came doc, now we are off the count of two per person, reinforcements needed.
My brother joined us since i asked him to, somehow maybe i can have a sane drinking session with him not freaking out after, and am glad it went well.
Back to my childhood buddies...so a lot has happened already since chow's wedding, it has been a week or so but a lot of the past didn't happen for just that whole week. Though there were only the three of us and my bro, it was a productive and sensible session. Like i said, those few bottles we shared were worth the past remembered, where regrets were optional and hates totally senseless.
All in all we had four bottles each except for doc who had three, by the way I admit i am alone.

watermelon

giving your best doesn't guarantee you the best results, sacrificing doesn't guarantee you full return of investments, and watering your plant doesn't guarantee it to live.

so what would it be? all or nothing?

nothing matters....

sitting down...

back when i was a kid i enjoyed private schools and city malls, things that my parents worked hard for, specially the school. Other than that there were no expensive toys nor lavish way of life. I got the private school and the city living that's all, all i dreamed of was to grow up and change this way of life, i wanted a better one.
years passed and the family had a new generation of members. by now i have learned the value of what i had, only had, when i was a kid. but there is one thing, what i have dreamed of. i never was that person able to change our way of life. right in front of me i see kids moving from a private school to a public one due to the price of the former.
By now i come to realize fully what i have been. I hate myself for not being able to realize the value of what i had when i was a kid. i hate myself for not being able to follow that dream i had when i was a kid. i hate myself for not being assertive when i was younger. i hate myself because i feel helpless in making things better around me.
what am i.

re: leyt's comment on 'which side of the fence'

when she said she wished she had that kind of enthusiasm to live i also say: i wished i didn't lose my enthusiasm to live.

which side of the fence

as i sit in the living room sofa watching tv, it came to how appalling the lives of those who live in the streets, dining on whatever they can scavenge for the day. Sometimes I hate myself for this. Why cant i be blessed with riches so i may help them....
...a voice is heard from above.....'you are not the type'

there goes enthusiasm for living

this is one lucky lady

this is nugget......
....if only i can sleep like she does

the tree: day #'who knows what'

ok so 17 days after Christmas this is the most recent update on our Christmas tree......
....well it has been sacked and wont be seeing light after 11 months, har har!